The ‘gap’: when you’re a high achiever and not at your peak – and what to do about it

Embrace the messy middle between excellence and mediocrity

The frustration was real. Back in my ‘triathlon days’, I was running 4-minute kilometres with relative ease and little thought. Now, barely a minute in, I was already breathing hard and wanted to stop.

The gap between who I was at my peak and the bloke making a dash down to Edi gardens felt worlds apart.

If you're a high achiever, you’re probably familiar with this feeling. It's the realisation that in a particular area of your life, you’re far from your best and that every day you're not at your best, the distance back to your peak grows wider. And much to our disdain, the wider that gap becomes, the harder it is to take even the first step back.

The challenge for high achievers

If you are also wired to achieve, anything less than our personal best feels like failure. It’s not actually competing against others - we're in a relentless battle with our former selves. You remember a time you meditated effortlessly for 20 minutes, twice a day, every day. The days when you could knock out 10 perfect pull-ups with a 20kg plate hanging off your back. These former selves become your harshest critic.

I regularly find myself in this cycle and it irritates me immensely. Life gets messy - schedules shift, priorities change, motivation wanes with the seasons. Before I know it, even getting in the pool is a challenge, let alone swimming a lap. Days can become weeks, weeks can become months. The gap widens from a crack to a gaping chasm.

The hardest part about it? Knowing exactly how capable you really are. For me, the frustration builds and I am seething at my inability to do something that was so natural to me in a past phase. It's one thing to struggle with something new; it's another to struggle with something you've already mastered. It can be hard not the let the inner voice loose: You used to be better than this. What happened to you?

Getting trapped in the cycle

What I've realised about people who resonate as high achievers is that we're addicted to forward momentum. Backwards is not an option. We build our identities around constant improvement, so when we slide backwards, it doesn't just threaten our performance; it threatens who we are.

This creates an unhelpful cycle. The gap between our best and current selves becomes so intimidating that we choose inaction over imperfection. Why struggle through a pathetic 10-minute workout when you used to train for hours? Why meditate for 2 minutes when you used to do 20 minutes?

So we wait. We tell ourselves we'll start when we have more time, more energy, more motivation. Meanwhile, the gap grows wider, making the eventual return even more daunting.

Resetting

The other week I was lamenting my non-existent progress on getting more cardio into my week but finally found a turning point. Instead of attempting my ‘past self’ 5-6km run, I lowered the bar considerably. I had zero expectations – just to move for 20 minutes. Not run – move. No pace targets, no distance goals, no judgement.

Those 20 minutes of mixed walking, jogging and running were far more important than I realised. I haven’t got my fitness back to peak levels – far from it, but I’d reset my mindset. I made progress. And all of a sudden, it was a lot easier to tackle other areas in my life too.

What I wish I would tell myself every time I hit this cycle

Through repeated cycles of decline and recovery, there are 3 key steps that help me get back into the groove:

1. Ruthlessly reset expectations. Start from where you actually are, not where you think you should be. Can only do 2 minutes of meditation instead of 20? Perfect. Two minutes is infinitely better than zero.

2. Investigate the root cause. Before diving back in, ask the hard questions: What knocked you off course? Has your environment changed? Are you burned out on this goal? Is something else consuming the mental space you used to dedicate to this pursuit? Sometimes the answer isn't to push harder - it's to change direction entirely.

3. Embrace tiny progress. Big wins are built from tiny victories. Instead of planning your comeback tour, focus on showing up consistently in small ways. Ten minutes of work, done daily, beats sporadic hours of effort. The compound effect of small actions is where the real gains are made.

Beyond the running track: where the mindset really matters

This pattern extends far beyond physical fitness. In my creative work, I've watched the gap between my vision and ability end up in the same paralysis. Ira Glass captured this perfectly in his famous advice to creative people: your taste develops faster than your skill, leading to a frustrating period where you know good work when you see it, but can't yet produce it yourself.

The temptation is to wait until you can generate something worthy of your standards. But that's backwards thinking. Your standards can only be met through the messy process of creating imperfect work, learning from it, and gradually closing the gap.

The long game

Something I wish I could remind myself regularly: the gap between your best and current self isn't worth worrying about - it's information. It tells you where you've been and hints at where you can go again. But it can only be crossed one imperfect step at a time.

High achievers who last aren't the ones who never experience decline. They're the ones who've learn to navigate ‘the gap’ with self-compassion and smart strategies to get back into flow. They understand that excellence isn't about maintaining peak performance - it's about consistently returning to the work, especially when it's hardest, in a way that meets you where you’re at.

It's about reminding yourself that your best self is still there, waiting patiently on the other side of consistent, imperfect action. The question isn't whether you can get back there, the question is when.

As the weather gets cooler and the mornings darker, remind yourself - every step forward, no matter how small, is a step closer to who you can be.